


River Flows in You

by queen_egotist



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band), Kim Junsu - Fandom, Park Yoochun - Fandom
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2014-07-15
Packaged: 2018-02-09 00:13:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1961550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queen_egotist/pseuds/queen_egotist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yoochun decides to leave Junsu. However, Junsu has one last request from him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	River Flows in You

**Author's Note:**

> This is the edited version of my original fanfiction from crackjuice@livejournal.

I want freedom. Freedom from him. For one reason: I don’t feel anything for him anymore. No love, lust or even care. All I feel is pity because I’ll be leaving him. Nothing feels the same.

 

I met him in high school. He was a simple boy, nothing special at first glance, though he smiles like an angel. That smile took me off guard and I fell madly in love with him. I don’t know how it happened. I just suddenly told him that I love him. That he was the only person I could think about. I know it was crazy, but it was true. He just smiled back at me, the pity permeating my skin. My heart broke through that smile and I regret every single word I told him. I didn’t go to school for a week because of that.

Then one Sunday morning, I passed by a church and heard the most beautiful voice in my life. I peeked through the window and saw him. He was the one singing. His voice refreshed me and cleansed my soul. Through that voice I became happy all the time. I finally decided to go back to school. 

One Monday afternoon, I went up to the roof top, a place where I used to always compose my songs. The truth is, every song I made was just for him because I love him to the extent that I’ll dedicate everything to him, even my own life. When I opened the door, I saw him near the metal rails, looking far away. I suddenly turned around.

“Yoochun,” he called me. He knew my name.

I noticed that I just stared back at him, so I got my wits back together and replied, stuttering, “J-J-Junsu? H-Hey!”

He smiled again. Then, he said something that I could never possibly forget. “What happened to you last week? I was worried.”

“Why would you be worried?” I thought, hoping to hear something more.

He smiled and I knew the answer, my world changed. Everything seemed perfect from that time on.

 

After we graduated from high school, we decided to tell everything to our families. My family supported me. On the other hand, his family did not agree of such a sodomous relationship. They tried every bit of reason and thought up of ways to separate us to the extent that they brought Junsu abroad. As for me, I had to go through his brother, Jaejoong, who is very protective of him. My wish came true when he finally allowed me to see him and even assisted us to move away. I found every way just to find someone to marry us. Fortunately, one judge, Shim Changmin, agreed on our condition.

This very same place was our haven, where every sweet and sorrowful memory happened. We settled in Paris and found this little house a few blocks away from the main city. It was warm and cozy. He picked out this place for us himself, and I was more than pleased to buy it for him.

Since we were alone, we decided to find jobs and earn a living. I became a musician while he was an artist and poet. Everything about our life away from our families made me feel happy and contented. His body and kisses were enough to satisfy me every night. He was perfect in my eyes even though he was clumsy and sometimes out of place. I can’t do anything about it. He made every single day of my life happy. He gave me the reason to feel.

 

After two years of being alone together, we decided to adopt. We had two little angels, Yeon Young and Min Mi. They’re the most adorable since they have my cheeks and his smile. 

Unfortunately, five years later, they were taken away from us because of a very gruesome event. It happened when both of us were away, so we hired someone to look after them. That idiot left when the fire broke out. When we came back, we saw our home engulfed by massive flames. I couldn’t help but curse that guy who ran away from his responsibility. I searched for him with an attempt to kill him, but Junsu stopped me and said that we should re-build the house and make some new memories together. How could I ever say no to him?

 

Now, ten years have passed by and every love and lust that seemed to pepper our life vanished. My heart didn’t feel the same way when I met him. I know I promised to give him my everything, but how could I give something that doesn’t even exist anymore? I feel sorry.

“Yoochun?” I heard him from our room. I went upstairs to see him. 

He smiled at my appearance, “Have you eaten breakfast yet?”

“Nope, not yet. I was composing something,” Something that can help me say goodbye to you properly.

“Really? I want to hear that later and see if I can sing along,” He smiled again and went downstairs to prepare breakfast for me.

“Don’t you have work, Su?” I asked, following him to the dining area.

He chuckled, “I already resigned a month ago, remember?”

“I thought you were on a vacation,” I feel guilty for not knowing.

He caressed my cheeks, “I understand.” He walked back to the counter and continued making breakfast. “What were you going to tell me? You mentioned it last night.”

My heart stopped and I decided to sit by my piano. I stayed silent while I played my new composition. I was foolishly hoping not to say those hurtful words in reality, but of course, though we’ve been able to tell each other our sentiments without the use of words, there were still some things that need to be told in person.

“Junsu, I can’t do this anymore,” I don’t want to hurt you.

He stayed silent and I walked to him and said, “I want to be free. I just don’t feel -”

“I won’t let you go,” he interrupted.

My anger rose from his words. “I -”

“Stay with me for twenty more days,” he said while wiping something from his nose.

Is that blood?

“Why?” I was furious. I wanted to know the reason why he won’t let me go.

He walked towards the sink. “I noticed it months ago. Tha- that you don’t feel anything for me anymore,” he replied, washing his soapy hands under the running water. After cleaning, he prepared our food.

I stayed silent and he served our breakfast. While we were eating, he just watched me, and for the first time since I lived with him, I become annoyed with him staring at me. 

“What?” I asked, my eyes rolling in annoyance.

“Nothing…” I know he was going to say something after I eat, so I tried to finish breakfast as fast as I could without looking hurried so we can talk properly.

 

Right after the meal, the two of us didn’t talk. We just shared a few glances and nothing more. It felt awkward on my side. I then decided to make the first move.

I went to his work room, where he painted many dazzling portraits. As usual, I saw his beautiful figure doing the thing that he loved the most, art and singing. He ceased from singing when he turned around and saw me watching him.

“Hello,” I don’t know how to start.

“You’re wondering where to start, right?” he asked, and I know my eyes widened. He really knew me.

I sat by the window and asked him what bothered me. “Why do I have to stay with you for 20 more days?”

“If you haven’t noticed, or maybe you’ve been too apathetic, these 20 days are the only remaining days I have in this life,” he told me, his face still bright and beautiful despite the gloomy news. His smile never vanished. 

I laughed. “You’re joking, right?”

“No, I’m not kidding,” his face changed. “You didn’t notice, did you? Or maybe I’m just too good an actor and had you fooled,” he said while having a weak smile on his angelic face.

“You seem fine to me,” I replied just to defend myself from looking like a complete idiot.

He sighed. “I was diagnosed weeks ago with Moschcowitz Syndrome. I didn’t really know that I had it, but Dr. Jung told me that a patient with this condition starts with subtle symptoms. Yoochun, I may not look like it, but it hurts a lot. It’s a good thing that I can still talk and even sing. I’ve had a lot of headaches recently and I feel numb sometimes.”

My breathing became difficult, “Then, why don’t you go under therapy? Just so you can run away from that illness that’s been hurting you.”

“I don’t want to,” he said, his eyes wet with tears. He looked down in an attempt to hide the teardrops sliding down his cheeks.

“Why?” Please tell me.

“I already told you that I noticed that you’ve changed months ago. Yoochun, you don’t love me anymore. I can take physical and internal pain, but if you’re ever going to leave me, I’d rather die,” Junsu covered his face with his palm, unable to hold on to his tears anymore, his resolve breaking.

“But I wish you would live your life, even without me.” I embraced him, just to stop the guilt from corrupting my already dead heart.

He slapped my face. He breathed hard. “You are my life, Chunnie. You know that. I ran away from home and left all the luxury on earth just to be with you. I am contented to be beside you and had loved you every single day of my life! When I noticed this abnormal bruising in my body, I ignored it. I didn’t want you to know. I want to keep you and be with me until the day I succumb to eternal slumber. I want to see you every morning ‘til I leave for good. Please, Chunnie, that is my only wish.”

I sighed in defeat. I feel nothing but pure pity for him. “So since I’m staying with you for twenty more days, what can I do for you?”

 

“Wake me up with your warm lips and then play me my favorite song on the piano in our room.  
I promise to stand up and sit beside you on the piano,” As usual, I found it impossible to say no to his last request.

 

From that day on, I would always kiss his plump lips in the morning to wake him up. I would then make my way to the piano in our room and play him his favorite song. Like he said, he would always sit beside me and listen to me play the piano.

Ten days after, I noticed the bruises on his milky white skin. I knew these were the signs, but he didn’t mind it at all. He was bleeding on the inside, and by the looks of it, it’s been hurting him a lot. I kissed him gently and trailed feather light kisses down his neck. He lazily opened his eyes and smiled at me. I cannot help but kiss him again. I performed my daily early morning routine, but he asked me to play his song five more times before he went down to make us breakfast.

 

A day before the deal, I woke him up with a passionate kiss that I know was the last thing I could give him. I caressed his face and kissed the bruises on his arms to soothe the pain that I know has been plaguing him. Then, when he finally opened his eyes, I finally decided to play his song. However, he didn’t sat by me, but I know he was listening.

I feel something’s back.

On the last day of the deal, I kissed him with more passion, a kiss which I did when I was still in love with him. 

When I still loved him. 

His temperature was dropping and my heart throbbed painfully. I kissed his neck and trailed kisses from his arm to his hand. I put his palm on my face. It felt cold.

I promised him. 

After that, I played his favorite song for him for the last time. Tears flowed as my fingers routinely pressed the ivory keys, my heart never stopping from throbbing. 

I knew he left me the moment I kissed him.

Am I really free? You imprisoned me ‘til the end. Yet, I still love you.

**Author's Note:**

> I used Idiopathic thrombocytopenia in the original version.
> 
> I will Re-Use almost the same plot with the Free! Fandom (MakoRin). XD

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Footsteps Down the Stairs](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2001387) by [queen_egotist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/queen_egotist/pseuds/queen_egotist)




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